We need to look out for our own interests in order to survive, so wanting to be tough and self-sufficient makes sense. Yet, humans crave connection and cooperation at our very core. Our social mission is to balance these competing interests.

It’s a tricky task even for the best-adjusted person in the world, and when they’re out of balance, we suffer.

We may end up in tumultuous relationships (romantic or otherwise) where we hurt the other person, they hurt us, or both.

Or we betray ourselves by choosing partners for the wrong reasons, or staying in bad situations for too long.

Even when we muster the strength to exit an unhealthy relationship, sometimes the initial sense of relief and happiness fades, revealing a lasting bitterness that will poison the next relationship.

And so on, and so on. We end up having the same problems over and over again, no matter how hard we try to do things differently.

This means you need a fresh, expert perspective on the matter. I can provide that for you, either as part of couples therapy or individual therapy.

Couples Counseling

For couples (in any type of relationship) facing a difficult event together, or recurring arguments and sources of friction, I’m here to serve, first and foremost, as a caring, nonpartisan, third party to facilitate fresh understanding.

We’ll discover each person’s triggers and unique vulnerabilities—ones you’re already painfully aware of, and ones that are hidden deeper.

The fuel for trouble could include one individual’s history, or past problems in the relationship that have gone unaddressed, which may be coloring the present.

It could be that each of you are at different points on that independent vs. connected spectrum right now.

We’ll figure it out once we get started. Then, with a better understanding of what makes each of you tick, you’ll be better prepared to accommodate each other’s needs while asserting your own in a healthy way.

You’ll learn and master the communication skills to do that, so you can have ongoing, healthy dialogue when you’re not in session.

Meanwhile, we’ll be planning solutions together, with you experimenting with them as a team at home, and debriefing about them in our sessions.

We’ll be moving you toward a relationship in which “me,” “you,” and “we” are all accounted for, by both of you, so you can enjoy a smoothly-functioning partnership, and a more peaceful and satisfying life.

Individual Therapy for Relationships

I can work with you individually, either as a complement to couples counseling you’re receiving elsewhere, or as an independent effort.

I’ll help you understand the dynamics of a relationship you’re in, how they’re affecting you, what they reveal about you, and how you can make changes from your side of the equation to improve your quality of life.

Sometimes, people come to me having decided to exit a relationship and needing support to muster the strength to do so.

Others come to me wanting to be a more understanding or better partner, so that they can help the relationship improve or last.

Still other clients end up discovering that what they thought they wanted at first isn’t what they really want.

As your partner in the therapeutic process, I’m here to help you figure it all out.

We’ll discover how your personal and interpersonal needs and desires fit together, and bring them into balance, so you can be your healthiest and happiest.